well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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