Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm passing your future prison.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
