my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i need some magic done to my vagina
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize