This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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