There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize