mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
