okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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