I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
