When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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