even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
