we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
