It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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