"it" just moved
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
