There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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