i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize