When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
