Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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