Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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