She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
