My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
