were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
