this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
