In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
