You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize