it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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