Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You need Xanax blowdarts
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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