5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
