Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
