Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
