yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize