O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
