I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize