Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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