Moan for me like Helen Keller
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
