Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
