Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
