oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize