have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
