Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
