East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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