Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
