STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
