I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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