would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
