I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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