you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
