wrigley field is MILF paradise
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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