If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
