dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
