I'm sorry my penis didn't work
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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