Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize