If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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