His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just found a bag of teeth...
Semen is not good for contacts.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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