I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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