Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
