let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
