Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
