So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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