Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We left an ass print on the piano.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
