There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
