I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
