i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
