That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
