who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
