We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just forgot I was standing up.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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